Monday, September 27, 2010

A Hard & Fast Rule for Managing One's Mortality for a Ghanaian Funeral

There I was at a funeral of a relative over the weekend when I experienced an epiphany: I discovered a hard-and-fast rule for managing one's mortality in Ghana.

Before I reveal it to a crowd of claps, let me just say this.

In this country, attending a funeral is a matter of course--and not because the relatives who have been handling and managing it for many funerals of relatives say so.

The assumption is that by attending the funerals of relatives (often a three-day affair comprising: wake-keeping; burial; and service on Sunday), you earn a reputation for being seen at them, therefore increasing your ability of having other relatives attend in the unfortunate event that it befalls you.

This can result in a young man or woman attending many funerals of the relatives of cousins/uncles/grand-you name it. This, so that you gain moral points for having ticked off the funeral box of relatives.

Well, I got me a solution to all that.

In the event you decide to become a rebel and not attend any funerals of any relatives, here's what you do:

1. Become a Muslim. This is because in the event your earthly time is up, you can simply avoid the ignominy of a no-show from all whose funerals you getting buried the following day!
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