Things to do in Accra when you're dead (to the world)

Imagine this: you're at home watching TV around 22h00. You're kind of winding down for the evening. Dishes done. Stuff packed. You're anticipating a delicious sleep in an hour or so. Suddenly, darkness falls.

Sadly, it lasts too long. Two hours later, you're still in darkness--and it looks like you're the only house in the street to experience it, too! You know there's enough electricity, so that's ruled out. You call 0302.611.611 and speak to ECG's hotline. They are not very reassuring, especially because you're only one or two houses without power.
The following morning, you wake up with a semi-headache, on account of a lack of qualitative sleep. There's no-one to sympathise with you, especially as no neighbour knows what hell you were going through.

Honestly. Really. Save the battery-powered radio, you were dead to the world.

Because this is Ghana, where patience seems to be in abundance, you stoically shake your head--and press on to work with that crumpled shirt you vowed to iron before the lights went off.

Things to do in Accra when you're dead to the world?

Sleep, ofcourse!

A Hard & Fast Rule for Managing One's Mortality for a Ghanaian Funeral

There I was at a funeral of a relative over the weekend when I experienced an epiphany: I discovered a hard-and-fast rule for managing one's mortality in Ghana.


Before I reveal it to a crowd of claps, let me just say this.

In this country, attending a funeral is a matter of course--and not because the relatives who have been handling and managing it for many funerals of relatives say so.

The assumption is that by attending the funerals of relatives (often a three-day affair comprising: wake-keeping; burial; and service on Sunday), you earn a reputation for being seen at them, therefore increasing your ability of having other relatives attend in the unfortunate event that it befalls you.

This can result in a young man or woman attending many funerals of the relatives of cousins/uncles/grand-you name it. This, so that you gain moral points for having ticked off the funeral box of relatives.

Well, I got me a solution to all that.

In the event you decide to become a rebel and not attend any funerals of any relatives, here's what you do:

1. Become a Muslim. This is because in the event your earthly time is up, you can simply avoid the ignominy of a no-show from all whose funerals you missed...by getting buried the following day!